ASK SCARLET: “I really like this woman, but she just can’t be on time, for anything…”

ASK SCARLET:  Scarlet, I’ve been dating this woman for about 3 months. We have had a lot of fun and we’ve experienced some really amazing things together, but we’ve also missed a lot of things because of lateness, on her part.  I totally understand lateness every now and then and maybe by 15-20 minutes, but I mean hours late, several times.  I really like this woman, but it seems that she just can’t be on time, for anything. A couple of times we missed events that cost lots of money and couldn’t be recouped. I’m a little concerned that this lateness is gonna be an ongoing trend, but I’m also concerned about rocking the boat too much, too early. Any recommendations on how to handle this? – James

SCARLET SAYS: Well James, it’s good that you are enjoying dating this woman. Dating is an exciting (and hopefully ongoing part) of any relationship. It’s good to be aware of timing and not rock the boat too early, but if you don’t address things that might be bothering you, they’ll likely do one thing – continue to happen. Talk to her about it.  Nobody likes to hear bad news,  so how you communicate not-so-good news is important.  Pick a time or day to chat when your mood isn’t affected by a recent “time” situation.  Choose your words wisely and think through what you are going to say before you say it. Most people tend to want to just “speak from the heart” or ” just say what comes to your mind at the moment, but what that usually results in is saying, “well, what I meant to say was….”. Most importantly, be genuine. Don’t be afraid to say what you do like about them during this conversation to lighten the mood, but do get your point across and communicate what you intended to! Happy Dating! – SCARLET

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