ASK SCARLET: “I want a friend of mine to stand in my wedding, but I don’t think she can afford it…”

ASK SCARLET:  I was recently engaged and I have already decided who I want to stand in my wedding as my maids and matrons of honor. Although I want one of my closest friends to stand with me, I am concerned that due to recent circumstances, she can’t afford it. I’m not really sure how to handle this. Should I ask her knowing that she may not be able to participate?

SCARLET SAYS: Congratulations on your engagement! As you know, weddings are expensive; not just planning one, but also participating in one as a bridesmaid, groomsmen or usher. If you want her to stand in the wedding, you should absolutely ask her.  Avoid assuming that she can’t participate. Perhaps when you ask her, you should show sensitivity to the subject by acknowledging that this may be a difficult time for her, but letting her know how honored you would be if she stood in your wedding. When we want to do something, we somehow find a way to make it work and maybe your wedding will be important enough for her to find a way to make it work. If she just can’t make it work, she won’t feel so bad about it, because you would have already expressed your understand, and perhaps she can participate in the wedding in another way.  Happy Wedding Planning!

– SCARLET

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