One of the many conversations was around the subject of my mother, Scarlet, or as the world remembers her, Bette. My mother passed away about 3 years ago suddenly and unexpected and consequently, Mother’s Day and birthdays have a bit of a somber undertone. My grandmother (my aunts mother) passed away about 6 years ago after a long battle with a number of illnesses. Although they both left the earth in a very different way, the fact remains that in both instances, someone lost a mother.
So, immediately following my aunt asking about my best girlfriend who had recently lost her mother, she asks me in a concerned tone “so how are you doing”? Considering the situation regarding my moms death, my aunt (and others) tend to periodically check in to see how I’m doing. I responded as I usually always do – “I’m fine”.
But something quite awful happened next. That something was that my aunt said (without being asked a question) “Well, I’m dealing pretty well. I’m not as sad as I initially was.” At that moment, I realize that I had done something pretty selfish.
I failed to ask her how she had been dealing with the passing of her mother. Granted, both of our losses had different circumstances – mine was sudden and hers was over time, but that doesn’t necessarily make the after math any less painful. Also, my mother was substantially younger than her mother (my grandmother), but that factor, while for me was painful, doesn’t negate the fact that at the end of the day we both loss someone.
This same situation happens all the time, especially if the person is older than us. We forget that other people have similar or equally as painful situations as us and that they too are going through something – we all are.
Scarlet Says… in our haste of just living or dealing with our own day-to-day challenges, remember that the world and the people around you aren’t that much different from you. They’re going through similar situations, experiences, challenges, hurdles and pain. Be aware and passionate enough to stop and say, “ok, enough about me, how are YOU doing?”
Until Next Time,